Lullaby and Goodnight Page 13

  Her mouth found his. Her hips rocked home. And the steamy pressure inside him built. He’d wanted to go slowly. But Rhianna suddenly clutched him with a spasm, taking him to the brink. Over the edge.

  As sensation after sensation washed over him, she let loose a lusty scream. Still joined in the aftermath of loving, he breathed in her breath. Held her close enough that their hearts beat as one.

  With trembling fingers, he smoothed the hair off her forehead and looked into her eyes. She was watching his face with an intensity that both exhilarated and frightened him.

  He exhaled sharply, knowing the shower was no place to answer the questions he saw in her eyes. Rafe gently lowered Rhianna until she stood on her feet. Putting off the inevitable conversation, one he dreaded, he opened a shampoo bottle and poured soap into his hand. For weeks he’d been itching to run his fingers through her magnificent auburn hair, and he wasn’t about to miss his chance.

  Spent, she leaned against him, allowing him to wash and rinse her hair. Then he lathered soap into his palms and washed her flesh, unwilling to let a sponge touch her when he so badly needed to do that himself. She had wonderfully silky skin, so soft, so unlike his own.

  Finally he turned off the water and wrapped her in a queen-size bath sheet of cotton terry cloth, then swaddled her dripping hair in a turban, before quickly draping another towel around his hips. He wanted to lead her to his bed, but knew if he did they’d just make love again.

  “Damn!” he exclaimed, suddenly remembering he’d forgotten something important. Stunned at his own stupidity, he figured he deserved to be shot.

  She slanted him a curious look. “Did we splash too much water out of the tub?”

  “I forgot to use protection,” he admitted. This was a first. Rafe was always careful. He never forgot. How could he have been such an idiot with this woman who meant so much to him?

  “It’s not a problem,” she told him softly.

  “Of course it’s a problem. Last time you got pregnant when we used a condom. This time I just…forgot.”

  “I took care of it.”

  “You’re on the Pill?”

  She shot him an exasperated look. “If you must know, I used a diaphragm.”

  Relief washed over him and he sank into a chair. At least one of them was sensible. At least one of them had thought ahead.

  Suddenly a new realization struck him like blue lightning. She’d planned to come to him, planned to make love. No wonder she hadn’t worn a stitch of clothing under that robe.

  His jaw dropped in amazement. He didn’t know how, but Rhianna kept surprising him. And the more he learned about her, the more fascinating he found her surprises. She was all-woman. Tender and tough. Spicy and sweet. Fire and ice. The contradictions intrigued him and he wondered if he’d ever understand her.

  He cleared his throat in the tense silence. “I’m glad you came to me.”

  “So am I.” She sat on his lap and laid her head on his shoulder. “We’re good together.”

  “I’d say more like dynamite. I don’t think straight when I’m around you.”

  She cocked a brow. “Is that so?”

  “I never wanted to hurt you, Rhianna.”

  “I know.”

  “But I’m not sure I can give you what you deserve.” He tipped up her chin. He didn’t really know why he was so opposed to marriage, but he had to find out soon. Or he would lose her. “But if you can give me some time, I’ll work—”

  Her finger came up to his lips and silenced him. “A relationship isn’t supposed to be work, Rafe. If you have to try that hard, then maybe we aren’t meant to be together.”

  Rafe heard the pain in her voice and restrained a curse. What the hell was wrong with him? Despite his best intentions, he’d just made everything worse.

  Chapter Ten

  Rhianna called herself ten times a fool. When would she get it into her thick, stubborn head that Rafe didn’t love her? He was kind, caring. A king among men. He doted on Allison. Rhianna had no doubt he would protect them with his life—because that was the kind of man Rafe was.

  But he didn’t want her as his wife. He’d made that perfectly clear.

  Rhianna had to have been an idiot to hope Rafe would change. Right from the start, he’d told her he liked his bachelor lifestyle. And she’d been dumb for thinking that just because she loved him, just because they were great together, just because she’d had his child, he would one day change.

  She shouldn’t have come to his room dressed in the flimsy robe. She shouldn’t have made herself so available. Even now she had to force herself from the comfort of his lap. Bunching muscle after muscle, she slowly regained her feet. She couldn’t look at Rafe, couldn’t face him.

  After taking her with the passion of a lover, he’d just told her that he needed time to work on their relationship. Obviously he didn’t feel what she did, and Rhianna wouldn’t settle for less.

  It was time to pack her things and leave. With a lump in her throat, a grieving heart and a sorrow so cutting it made her ache, she headed for the door, her head up, holding back tears by sheer force of her will. She wouldn’t cry. At least not in front of him.

  “Rhianna?”

  She wouldn’t have turned around except that Rafe’s voice sounded as if he were suffering torture. She shoved aside her own pain and spun around, sure he needed help.

  Only he looked like a hungry tiger on the prowl, determined, graceful and ready to pounce. The towel tucked around his slim hips enhanced his whipcord torso and lean muscles. He stalked over and placed a hand on each of her shoulders. “I won’t let you leave like this.”

  How had he known she was leaving for good? Or did he just think she would head to her room, not leave his ranch? And why did he have to look so handsome after he’d hurt her so badly?

  Knowing she couldn’t control the tremor in her voice, she didn’t say a word. She just stood there and waited for him to speak, her heart unraveling with disappointment.

  Rafe didn’t hesitate. “I love you.”

  Great. Now not only was she an idiot, she was delusional, hearing things.

  “Did you hear me? I love you.” He looked sincere. His eyes blazed black fire and the corner of his mouth turned upward in a cocky grin. “Do you need to hear it again? I love you.”

  Maybe she wasn’t crazy, after all. Not even she could have dreamed up a scenario like this. Shocked, Rhianna felt faint. She really needed air, but didn’t want to move in case the dream would fade and she’d return to reality. Had he really said three times that he loved her?

  Rafe cupped her chin, his fingers resting on her racing pulse. Gently, he kissed her forehead, her nose, her mouth, then lifted her into his arms.

  She rested her head on his shoulder and marveled over the warmth shooting through her from his touch, from the heat in his gaze, from the marvelous feeling of being loved. She wanted to dance, but being in Rafe’s arms was better. She wanted to ask him to tell her again—maybe record his words so she could play them back when she doubted.

  He laid her on the bed and climbed on beside her. Turning on his side, elbow crooked, he rested his cheek in his palm, hovering over her. “I’ve loved you for a long time. I’ve just been fighting myself.”

  She frowned at his admission, which was both simple and complex. Why couldn’t she have a simple, straightforward relationship? “Is loving me so terrible?”

  “I hope not.”

  Rhianna frowned again in confusion. “I don’t know what to say.”

  “I always thought I didn’t want to marry.”

  She should have known there was no true happily ever after. But his telling her that he loved her took any bitterness out of her words. “You still don’t want to marry, do you?”

  Rafe sighed. “Since I’ve known you, I can imagine us having more children. I can imagine us raising a family, raising hell, raising champion horses.”

  “Why do I hear a ‘but’ coming?”

  Rafe grimac
ed. “But I can’t seem to think how to go from where we are now to there.”

  “It’s simple. We take a blood test. Send out wedding invitations. We hire a minister, or a notary and—”

  “I’m not being clear.”

  “Duh.” She should have reined in her sarcasm, but Rafe seemed almost as baffled by his behavior as she was. “I’m sorry. I just don’t understand.”

  “I’m not sure I do, either. I’m just convinced that the closer we become, the more danger you’ll be in.”

  “What do you mean by danger? You think the kidnapper will threaten us again? Surely he’s off somewhere spending the money, not plotting more evil.”

  “That’s the logical assumption,” Rafe agreed. “I know in my head that the threat to you is over…yet I can’t help feeling that…”

  “That what?” she prodded. “That I’m still in danger?” Rhianna didn’t hesitate to say the words. If his fear for her safety was what had kept her and Rafe apart, she could deal with that. She knew his family had had more than their share of troubles in recent years. Rafe’s brother Brent had been murdered and Laura had been blamed at first. Chase had tracked Laura down and together they’d proved her innocence, and the guilty party had received justice. Then Cameron’s first wife had been killed in Boston, but her murderer had also been caught. It seemed unlikely that all these problems were connected until Rhianna remembered families like the Kennedys—rich, influential families—often seemed to attract larger-than-life troubles.

  Rafe had told her he loved her. That admission would keep her happy for a long time. She could wait for Rafe’s fears to ease. Now that he’d given her a measure of hope, he was a man well worth waiting for.

  “I never meant for you to feel burdened by my presence here,” she said.

  “I’d feel better if you stayed close by.”

  His response made her blush with happiness. Rafe cared for her. He loved her. She still couldn’t quite believe her good fortune. She need merely have patience and they would make their family a legal one.

  She smiled at him. “I’m living in your house, lying in your bed. How much closer do you want me?”

  “Let me show you.” He tugged the towel loose from between her breasts and she rolled into his arms.

  RHIANNA HAD NEVER BEEN more grateful that Allison now slept through the night. Rafe had made love to her repeatedly, and she perked him fresh coffee before the sun came up. He must be exhausted, yet he went out the door after kissing her lips, whistling some tune off-key.

  She sent him off to bring in cattle without mentioning her plan. After feeding Allison, she saddled her horse and headed to the chuckwagon. She could see the smoke from the bonfire from miles away and didn’t fear getting lost.

  Allison enjoyed the early morning ride. And an hour later, as Rhianna rode into the makeshift camp, she could have sworn her daughter perked up at the sound of her daddy’s voice, turning her head and looking around curiously.

  “The deadline’s tight,” Rafe was telling Tyler.

  “We can…” When Tyler caught sight of Rhianna and the baby, he stopped talking.

  Rafe looked around, spotted her and waved her over, a weary smile of welcome flashing from beneath his Stetson hat. Despite dark circles under his eyes, he still looked sexy in dusty leather. “Anything wrong?”

  “You said you wanted me closer.” The words came easily to her lips, and they shared a smile over Allison’s head. “Have any more of that coffee?”

  Hand in hand, they strolled past cowboys riding out after a hearty breakfast of coffee, eggs and ham. They’d already been working for several hours, and dust coated their smiles when they saw Allison or tipped their Stetsons in a polite “ma’am” directed at Rhianna.

  She loved this time of the day. Just before dawn, the dew-laden grass and the waning stars lent the feeling of promise to the coming hours. The air had a nip to it with the dark night sky about to be pierced with streaks of a red dawn. Out here, life was more simple. A gal could see across the long green divides from horizon to the distant mountains and know she could be content with a baby in her arms and her man by her side.

  Rafe happily took Allison from her, while the cook fixed Rhianna a plate of food and handed her a mug of coffee. Rafe led her to a campfire, where Tyler and Chase stood talking. Both brothers greeted Rhianna, but they made silly faces at Allison, who rewarded them with a huge grin. Rafe looked on proudly.

  Rhianna took a seat on a blanket and dug into her mound of food. She chewed with pleasure, swallowed and washed it down with coffee thicker than mud—just the way she liked it. The caffeine jolted her memory of the conversation she’d overheard as she rode in. “What deadline?”

  “It’s nothing to worry about,” Tyler told her with a gallant tip of his hat. Then he turned away. “I need to check the south pasture.”

  Chase squatted by the fire. “I’ll be along shortly.”

  Rafe, Rhianna and Chase remained silent until Tyler rode off. Then Chase turned to Rhianna. “You’ll have to excuse our oldest brother. He still thinks women need protection from the harder aspects of life. Laura’s taught me that women deal with trouble just fine—as long as we don’t hide the bad stuff.”

  “Laura’s taught you well.” Rhianna sipped her coffee, liking the easy way Chase explained his view without criticizing Tyler. “So what’s up?”

  Rafe lay on his back, placed Allison on his chest and looked up at the sky. “The roundup’s taking longer than we expected.”

  “Why?” Rhianna asked.

  Chase held his hands out to the fire to warm them from the early morning chill. “The cows are spread out from the eastern border to the west.”

  “That’s a good two-day ride,” Rafe added.

  Chase kept talking. “Then we have cows that wandered up the pass, and it’s so narrow we have to herd them out almost single file.”

  “And if it takes longer, you have to pay more men?”

  “Not only that,” Chase told her in an even tone. “This roundup’s not going to be done before the next mortgage payment’s due.”

  “I’ll sell another foal,” Rafe suggested, more exhaustion than worry in his tone.

  Poor man, he’d worked from before sunup yesterday until after sundown, then she’d kept him awake all night making love. He deserved a rest, not another full day in the saddle.

  Chase shook his head. “No, Rafe, you already sold your two best. You’ll have to go into breeding stock to meet the payment.”

  “What’s the alternative?” Rhianna asked, appreciating that Chase had included her in the conversation. “Can you go to the bank?”

  Rafe shook his head and Allison tugged on his chin. “Banks want collateral,” he said.

  “What about a loan on the cattle—not just the land?” she suggested.

  “Apparently our loan to value ratio is too high,” Rafe told her.

  “That means the bank said no.” Chase translated the financial term into English for her.

  Rafe patted Allison on the back and the baby closed her eyes. “It’s like we’ve maxed out our credit,” Rafe said sleepily.

  Rhianna thought about Duncan’s offer. He’d pay off the debt—but she would have to marry him in return. After Rafe had told her he loved her, after Rafe had spent the night making love to her, she knew she had to find another way.

  “We could sell Sweetness,” she suggested softly. “Dad would hate to sell him, but it’s not fair that you Suttons should lose everything while we keep that horse.”

  She expected Rafe to protest. When he didn’t, she looked at him, surprised by his silence. Then she saw why he hadn’t argued. Rafe’s eyes had closed in sleep.

  Chase placed his hand on Rhianna’s shoulder. “I thank you for the offer. But selling that horse would be like selling a member of your family. And we do have other options.”

  “What options?” Rhianna asked, hating the grim tone Chase used, indicating how serious the Sutton financial situation had become
.

  “We just need to hold on for another month until we round up the cattle.”

  “Why not sell the cows in smaller lots?”

  Rafe let out a gentle snore. Allison slept comfortably on his chest.

  Chase covered them both with a blanket. “Selling in smaller lots would lower the price. We have a few other assets we can sell first.”

  “Like what?” Rhianna asked curiously. “Or am I sticking my nose where it doesn’t belong?”

  “Hey, this is family business. You’re family,” Chase assured her in a way that made her feel accepted, although technically she wouldn’t be family until she and Rafe married.

  “So what else can be sold?”

  “Our mother collected art. We’ve hired an auction house to sell her collection in New York.”

  “Oh, Chase. I don’t want you to sell off your mother’s prized possessions.” Rhianna felt terrible that the Suttons would lose their mother’s legacy because of her. The woman had died a long time ago and the fact that the Suttons still had the art must mean that they valued it.

  “Don’t feel badly,” Chase told her. “None of us like her pictures. Dad put them in storage in Denver, thinking one of us would want them after we grew up. He keeps offering them to us, but we don’t like Rovell’s art—not even Cam’s wife, Alexa, our art expert.”

  “Really? You aren’t just saying all this to make me feel better?”

  “I’d do that if necessary,” Chase admitted. “But it’s not necessary. We don’t like the Rovell pictures, don’t want to pay to insure them, and had put them on loan to a museum in the city. I guess we don’t have ‘taste,’ because they’ve skyrocketed in value. And the auction house has promised a quick sale. All we have to do is send the Rovells to New York and we’ll receive a big fat check.” Chase looked over at his sleeping brother and his niece. “The senator thinks you and Rafe should take the art to New York. Lately Rafe hasn’t been much use around here.”