Daddy to the Rescue Page 14

  “For someone so slow to make up her mind, you’re certainly in one big hurry.”

  Impatient, she took the condom and rolled it over him. “It’s been a long time. And I’ve never been the patient type.” She yanked him onto his back, then straddled him.

  “Wait.” His hands clasped her hips, holding her perfectly still.

  She sighed in exasperation. “Now what?”

  “I want to look at you.”

  She rolled her eyes, impatient to sheath him inside her. “You already know what I look like.”

  “The water droplets are making your skin glisten.”

  “That’s great.” She shifted her hips, but he held her steady, open, ready for him, but he wasn’t cooperating.

  “And your breasts are—”

  “Cold.” She could play this game. Leaning forward until her nipple brushed his lips, she teased him, taunted him, enjoying the feminine power of eliciting his soft groan. “You could warm me up.”

  He pleasured her with his tongue. And he released her hips, the fingers of one hand delving between her thighs, but still preventing her from lowering herself onto him. His fingers parted her, slipped into aching, hungry flesh. And he held her on the edge between anticipation and bliss, seeking to explore every slick inch of her.

  His explorations lit a match to her already over-heated state. Her muscles kindled and fired. And as if sensing the flaming moment of her orgasm, he thrust inside her, allowing her to blaze around him. But he didn’t pause to allow her burning senses to cool. He gave her no rest, thrusting his hips in, filling her, then drawing back before she caught her breath, creating a raging heat.

  Fast-paced and furious, she rode him with uninhibited joy. She had no doubts, no regrets, simply took what he gave her and enjoyed the ride. And all the while, his resourceful fingers urged her on, caressing all her sensitive places, applying exactly the right amount of pressure that only married couples who’d made love to one another for years could know so well.

  And Kirk had forgotten nothing. He recalled what and how and where she liked to be touched, driving her close to madness, before she succumbed again, exploding. And again he held back, giving her no time to rest or recover, pushing her beyond the plateau she’d just reached, urging her toward the peak of fulfillment.

  Trusting him, she ignored the roaring in her ears. Blood singing through her veins. Her pulse soaring until she couldn’t think of anything but more friction. Gyrating her hips, she clutched his shoulders and let her movements go wild. Together they spiraled, and when release came again, this time they climaxed together.

  She bit back a scream and collapsed atop him, straightening her legs and pillowing her head on his shoulder but keeping him inside her. And with release came the reawakening of emotions she didn’t want to face.

  She loved this man. She’d loved him as a young girl. She’d loved him as a married woman. She loved him still.

  He held her tight, but not too tight. His voice was raw and awed. “The room’s spinning.”

  “I have faith that you’ll make a full recovery.”

  But she wouldn’t. She’d divorced him, believing that he would never change his career. While he had left the military, she didn’t ever want to pin her hopes on his survival again—not with the constant danger he put himself in.

  Loving him made hope for a future much too painful. But she’d spent the past almost year and a half attempting to convince herself that their marriage hadn’t been that strong. That loving him hadn’t been so great.

  She’d been fooling herself. But was waiting almost a year and a half to hold him again in her arms worth all the pain of separation? Now that she’d again been branded by his heat, she didn’t know if she could find the courage to say goodbye.

  However, she had promised herself tonight. And tonight was far from over. As soon as she recovered a little strength, she intended to make up for lost time.

  Tomorrow morning would come all too soon.

  Chapter Eleven

  Kirk slept heavily and awakened slowly. With Logan’s team providing extra security, he’d gotten the first good hours of rest in days. From the sunlight streaming through the hotel windows, he estimated the time at mid-morning. Stretching out assorted aches in muscles he’d overtaxed, he spied the empty condom packets scattered over the nightstand and grinned. While he supposed the hotel maid had seen the evidence of lovemaking before, he preferred to keep their activities private, so he picked up the wrappers and deposited them in the wastebasket.

  Last night with Sara had been incredible. Not just physically, either. Although neither of them had seemed able to get enough of the other, she’d touched him emotionally in ways that had helped him heal, making him feel more alive than he had since their divorce.

  Before coming to rescue Sara, he’d forced himself to make plans for his future, but for the first time, he looked forward to the days ahead, and the difference in attitude lightened his steps.

  Since his divorce, Kirk had known he had a hollow spot in his heart and had figured that eventually time would dull the ache. He hadn’t realized how easily Sara could fill him up with joy. And love. Yes, they’d shared love last night. He knew Sara well enough to be sure that she wouldn’t have gone along with his seduction unless she cared deeply for him, too.

  Her love helped eased the pain of their long separation and gave him hope for a future together. Bending back over the bed, Kirk felt the mattress for her warmth, wondering how long ago she’d awakened.

  The sheets were cold.

  Where was she? Ordering breakfast from room service? Perhaps Abby had awakened, and Sara had gone to feed her. If so, he wanted to watch.

  Slipping on a robe, he knotted the sash and padded from one bedroom to another. He found Sara in his room, packing his things.

  Had Logan decided they should vacate the hotel?

  Puzzled, slightly fuzzy from the strenuous night of lovemaking, Kirk glanced from Sara, busy stuffing a shirt into his pack, to Pepper and Abby playing on the floor. With a chuckle, Abby threw her toys and Pepper brought them back.

  Kirk took the pack from Sara. “What’s up?”

  The moment she saw him, she paled. Her lips trembled, then tightened as if she had received bad news but wanted to put on a brave front.

  He rubbed his jaw, trying not to jump to conclusions. “If something’s wrong, you should have wakened me. Did Logan phone? Is the security gone? Are you in danger?”

  She shook her head. “The security team is standing guard right outside the door. We’re safe. And my face-recognition program’s well hidden—”

  So why had he glimpsed tears pooling in her eyes before she fought them down. “Last night…”

  “What about last night?” Surely he hadn’t been too rough. She had matched him move for move, urging him to last longer, go harder. One look at the expression in her eyes and his gut twisted. Something was very wrong and he didn’t have a clue what.

  Her voice cracked. “Last night. I’ll always remember…as special.”

  She was sending him away.

  He didn’t know why, but he could see the message in her eyes, read it in the slump of her shoulders and the determined tilt of her chin.

  She was sending him away.

  Sara might as well have rapped him on the skull with a crowbar. Pain exploded behind his eyes. His stomach churned. He wanted to strike out and hit something. But he didn’t flinch. Willed himself to think.

  Kirk knew how to fight his enemies, knew how to focus on his goals. But he had no weapons to fight the woman he loved. Not when she didn’t want him anymore.

  He hadn’t seen her reaction coming, but he should have. This was normal for her. His lack of foresight filled him with anger. Of course she was trying to push him away. He’d gotten too close. And she wanted to run.

  “I love you, Sara.”

  She folded her arms over her chest. “Love isn’t enough. Last night…was wonderful and foolish. But I can’t set m
yself up for heartache again. I can’t stand by like the good little woman, while you go on dangerous missions. Knowing that you’re in danger tears me apart.”

  “I’ve given that up.”

  “Have you? Have you turned down Logan’s job offer?”

  “I have the ranch…”

  “Land that you lease is not permanent.” She sighed. “I promised myself I would live with the consequences of last night. Well, unfortunately, you’re going to have to live with them, too.” She trembled and stood, her spine rigid, as if ready to snap. “I’m sorry.”

  “Sorry?”

  “I was weak last night.”

  “Wrong. Last night you were strong. Last night you reached out for what you wanted with courage. And let’s be clear. You wanted me, Sara. This morning your courage has vanished, so you’re sending me away.”

  “You’re right.”

  Her words dissolved his anger and left him defeated. How could he argue with a woman who agreed with him? More importantly, how could he change her mind?

  He couldn’t think of a way. Sara’s mind worked so differently from his, it was a wonder they got along as well as they did. As well as they had.

  She was sending him away.

  Quitting wasn’t part of a Marine’s psyche. Yet Sara wasn’t giving him a choice. Besides, he wouldn’t stay with a woman who didn’t want him. And he wouldn’t beg.

  Realizing that now was not the time to discuss Abby’s custody, he hefted the bag onto his shoulder, prepared to walk out of the suite.

  “Kirk.” Sara’s voice was choked and she wouldn’t look him in the eye, but stared over his left shoulder.

  On his way to the door, he paused. “Yeah.”

  Sara brushed away a stray tear. “You might want to take a minute to change your clothes.”

  Kirk looked down. Sara wasn’t the only upset adult in the room. He was stilling wearing his bathrobe.

  AFTER KIRK SHUT THE DOOR behind him, Sara collapsed onto the bed, burst into tears and hugged the pillow to her chest. The suite seemed empty and cold without his presence, just like her heart. She’d known sending him away would be hard. But she hadn’t expected his departure to feel as if she’d swallowed glassy shards of despair.

  She told herself that prolonging his departure would have made her feel worse, but, in truth, she didn’t know how she could feel much worse than she did right now.

  Already, she missed him terribly. And guilt filled her for the pain she’d caused them both.

  While she hadn’t asked him to rescue her from that mountain, she had invited him into her bed last night. Deep down she knew he might be the only man she would ever love. So she had to remind herself that keeping him close hurt worse than keeping him at a distance.

  She recalled all too well how depressed she’d been when he’d lived in danger every day. She couldn’t take the pressure. And knowing that other women did somehow find the inner strength to let the men they loved go into life-threatening situations only made her feel like a failure. Cops, firemen and military people all had higher divorce rates than average citizens. The pressures were enormous—not just because of the endless separations. She couldn’t cope with Kirk’s way of life—and didn’t believe he could really change.

  He’d said he had quit the military for good, but he was considering taking other dangerous missions. And that ranch sounded more like a dream than reality. He could pack up and leave at a moment’s notice for a stranger in trouble, the same way he’d done to come after her.

  Sara had lived under that kind of cloud for too many years and, when she’d divorced Kirk, she’d done so to survive and to preserve her sanity. She’d divorced him before he could damage their baby by his long absences. Her decision might not have been fair, but it was right for her.

  Still, that didn’t make his exit any less devastating. It didn’t mean that tonight she wouldn’t roll over in bed and reach for him. Last night had given her precious memories that she would file away with so many others. The first time they’d made love. Her honeymoon. The night of Abby’s conception. And now the final goodbye.

  Sara strode into the bathroom and washed away her tears. She brought a cold, wet washcloth to her red eyes, hoping the swollen evidence of her tears would recede before her meeting. She needed to calm herself and feed Abby, whom she intended to take with her.

  If the Department of Defense men didn’t like her bringing the baby, that was tough. No way would she leave Abby with a stranger, not after their harrowing experiences of the past few days.

  “Hello?” The maid called out, interrupting Sara’s thoughts. “I’ve brought fresh towels.”

  The maid had probably knocked, but Sara hadn’t heard her over the sink’s running water. “Just leave the towels on the bed. Abby’s asleep in her playpen, so don’t go in that room, either. Okay?”

  “Whatever you say, ma’am.”

  Sara needed to pull herself together. She had three hours before her meeting. She needed to shower, fix her hair and put on makeup, feed the baby and dress them both for the meeting. Thanks to Logan Kincaid, she had everything she needed. Clothes, diapers, a stroller. He’d even sent an armored limo with security. She and Abby would be quite safe.

  And since Sara didn’t trust her own computer to run her program, she was grateful for Logan’s thoughtfulness. The man had spared no expense to make her and the baby comfortable. Too bad not even Logan Kincaid had a cure for her broken heart.

  She supposed Logan knew, from the security detail guarding her, that Kirk had left. She shoved the stomach-roiling subject from her mind. In three hours, she could put this incident behind her. She would have secured Abby’s future, and the government would have a powerful new program for Homeland Security.

  Once she sold the program to the government, any danger would be over. She had nothing to worry about. Unless the hard drive had been damaged during the plane crash. Unless the hard drive had frozen. Unless she had damaged the hardware when she’d hastily removed it from the case. After abusing her battery by starting that spark to keep them alive during the blizzard, she hadn’t dared to fire up the machine to run her program.

  Sara stepped into the connecting bedroom to check on Abby. She was sleeping soundly in her crib. No doubt she wouldn’t be pleased to awaken and find her new best friend, Pepper, gone.

  Abby sighed and returned to her shower. At least Abby could easily be distracted. At nine months, a baby didn’t have a long memory. Her daughter wouldn’t spend the next weeks, months and years yearning for her father—not like Sara would.

  Sara refused to think about joint custody or paternal visits. She wanted to rinse the memories of Kirk down the drain and clear her mind for the meeting.

  She stepped under the water, remembering her last shower. Kirk’s hands in her hair. The scent of his male body. His gentle fingertips massaging her scalp. His clever mouth nipping and…

  Stop.

  She couldn’t keep torturing herself or she would go mad. Kirk was gone. She just needed to pretend this past week had never happened. She had to reset her internal emotional clock back to the week before, when he’d been a painful memory, not a bleeding and agonizing wound.

  Not for the first time, she wished he hadn’t been so good at what he did. His animals practically read his mind. And the world would always come to his door, asking too much of him.

  Stop. Think about your meeting.

  But all she could think about was the hurt in Kirk’s eyes, the shock on his face when he’d realized that she wanted him to go. She told herself he should have known that sex wouldn’t change her mind. Not even good sex. Okay, spectacular sex.

  No, she couldn’t fool herself. They hadn’t just had sex, they’d made love.

  Swallowing past the tightness in her throat, she finished her shower and wrapped herself in a towel, her wet hair twisted under a turban. She had a powerful urge to hold Abby, but she needed the time to dry her hair, apply makeup and dress before waking her baby for
one last feeding before they headed to the hotel lobby.

  Abby refused to look at the rumpled sheets on the bed where Kirk had held her so tenderly. She strode to the closet and removed the business suit, blouse and shoes Logan had supplied. The man knew how to shop. She’d never have bought anything so exquisite. He’d gotten her size correct, right down to soft, leather shoes. If the sale of her program went through, she knew she could buy a dozen suits and a closet full of shoes.

  Sara sighed and dressed. What she wanted most couldn’t be bought with cold cash. Money had never been Kirk’s priority and Sara hadn’t minded one bit. She’d loved his dedication, his heart, his pride in what he did. And she’d always known that asking him to give up that life was wrong. When she’d finally broken down and asked, he’d refused, hurting her more than she could bear.

  As if programmed in a closed-circuit logic loop, her mind always circled back to him. She didn’t want to think about him, and yet she couldn’t seem to help herself.

  She sat in front of a cosmetic table and, with shaking fingers, applied foundation, mascara, lipstick and blush—all compliments of Logan Kincaid. Although his specialty was computers, whenever his name came up, rumors always flew. Especially about Logan’s women. The man knew women, what they liked and what they needed. He also had one of the most brilliant minds she’d ever encountered.

  But she wasn’t attracted to Logan.

  Why was it that only Kirk Hardaker could set her on fire with a glance? Why couldn’t she drum up interest in someone else? Sometimes she thought that her and Kirk’s long history kept them connected—but she hadn’t thought once about history when he’d held her last night.

  Sara glanced at her watch. Time to wake and feed Abby. She couldn’t wait to hold her, cuddle her small body against her aching heart.

  Opening the door, she peeked into the darkened room. She’d have thought Abby would have awakened on her own by now.

  Sara slid her hand along the wall and flipped the light switch. Automatically, her gaze focused on the crib.