The Hidden Years Read online

  Her tormentor’s voice was too cold, too professional to give her any hope of getting out of this alive. At first she’d thought the blindfold was to prevent her from identifying him but now she suspected he just wanted her terrified so she’d talk. His tactics were working. She felt icy cold and burning hot at the same time.

  She had the horrible feeling that as soon as she told him what he wanted to know, he’d put a bullet in her brain.

  He could spend the entire day beating her.

  She lived alone.

  Didn’t expect company.

  And she had no idea what he wanted.

  Again he asked the dreaded question. “Who do you work for?”

  And again she had no answer.

  AFTER PERUSING THE PAPERS Cassidy had dumped at his feet, Jake packed them up and heaved them into the trunk of his car, his anger slowly cooling. She’d offered to help him, and like it or not, he really needed that help, not just her legal expertise, but her common sense. Even if she had every right to be furious with him, he hoped after he apologized, she’d forgive him.

  He made the thirty-minute drive from Half Moon Bay to Crescent Cove in less than twenty minutes. While he knew Cassidy would probably rather see the abominable snowman than him showing up at her house uninvited, Jake owed her an apology. She’d done him a favor, and in return, he’d blamed her for her father’s actions and implied that she was a liar. Inexcusable behavior under any circumstances. And he had no excuse. Except that she’d pushed all his buttons, reminding him of his failures, reminding him of one of the worst nights of his life.

  That extraordinary summer he’d never even kissed Cassidy, but that hadn’t stopped him from dreaming about sex and love the way most eighteen-year-old boys do. But unlike most boys who’d grown up with the love of family around them, Jake had never had anyone tell him that they’d loved him—not since he’d been five and his father had died. No one had ever told him he’d done a good job. No one had ruffled his hair with affection or hugged him. If anyone touched him at all, it had been a fist to the chin, an elbow to the gut.

  So he’d craved affection. Maybe he’d read more into her emotions than had been there. He’d been so hungry for love that when she’d called him that long-ago afternoon to tell him she had special news and a special evening planned, he’d hoped and dreamed that they might make love.

  He’d bought a few candles to hide the dingy walls of his room, changed the sheets and spent his last few dollars to borrow a radio from another boarder. Freshly showered after a ten-hour day slinging hamburgers, he’d met Cassidy at his door. She’d taken his hand and dragged him down to the park where they could watch the stars in the balmy Floridian moonlight.

  After blowing out the candles, he’d followed willingly enough. She’d brought a blanket and a picnic dinner, but he’d been too excited to fill his ever-hungry stomach. He’d hoped she wanted a little romance before they went back to his room. He could still recall her aroma, wildflowers and honey, her lips scented of strawberry lipstick. But most of all he’d craved her golden heat. Cassidy’s skin was always warm to his touch, and he could never seem to resist holding her hand or running his fingers through her silky hair. Under a crescent moon he’d leaned over to kiss her, as ready as a volcano to burst with wanting her. And she’d pulled away.

  When he’d suggested going back to his room, she’d turned over and told him she was heading to UCLA in California in two weeks. And his world crashed. Hard. Without Cassidy to brighten his dreary nights, the two jobs he worked each week to make ends meet seemed unbearable. California might as well have been Mars. Four years and three thousand miles would effectively separate them and end their relationship just as her father had intended, since Jake couldn’t afford to follow her to California. Even after he joined Special Forces, he hadn’t been able to put her out of his mind.

  Cassidy had been the first person to show him affection or friendship for thirteen years, and losing her had devastated him. He’d coped with the emptiness by working harder. In what little spare time he had after his honorable discharge from the military, Jake had searched for his sisters and developed the skills to open his own detective agency. But no matter how many hours he’d worked, he’d never forgotten that bright summer when anything and everything had seemed possible. And he’d never forgotten what it felt like to wake up in the morning and look forward to Cassidy’s smile brightening his day.

  Jake drove up to Cassidy’s house and saw a broken windowpane next to the front door. His instinct for trouble immediately kicked in. Maybe a kid had thrown a baseball through the pane. But why was the glass still glinting on the front stoop?

  There could be a dozen reasons. The likeliest was that Cassidy wasn’t home.

  Still, Jake had learned to take precautions. He drove past the house and parked down the street. Picking up his cell phone, he called his friend and number-one employee, Harrison Gordon, and quickly gave him his location.

  “If you don’t hear from me within four minutes, send the cops.”

  Ever cautious, the former police office from Dade County asked, “Want backup?”

  “Cassidy may be in trouble. Phone’s in my pocket. I’ll leave the line open.”

  “Be careful.”

  Jake clipped the phone to his belt, eased his gun from his ankle holster and slipped it into his pocket. He didn’t want to chance scaring Cassidy if it wasn’t necessary. And a bullet could shoot through fabric as easily as air.

  Moving quickly and silently, Jake approached the ranch-style house from the side, slipping easily behind the shrubbery and ducking beneath the windows. Normally he would have scouted the perimeter and waited for backup, but he had a bad feeling in his gut.

  When he approached the broken glass by the front door, he heard the sickening sound of a slap against flesh and a woman’s yelp of pain.

  Sweat popped out on his brow. Every cell in his body yearned to burst through the door. But he wouldn’t do Cassidy an ounce of good if he got himself or her shot before he could rescue her.

  Jake took a moment to reach for his phone. “I’m going in, Harrison. Get me backup. Fast.”

  “Wait—”

  Jake didn’t listen to the rest of Harrison’s warning. He eased through the door, gun first. Glass crunched under his shoes. Jake silently swore. He’d just given up the element of surprise.

  At least the sickening sounds of the assault had stopped. But Jake couldn’t wait for the cops to arrive. It only took a nanosecond to end a life. Cassidy’s future might hinge on his next decision. Jake didn’t hesitate. He just wished he knew how many opponents he was up against and if they were armed.

  Ducking through a doorway, Jake stepped lightly into the dining room. He quickly scanned the thick draperies. Saw no sign of feet peeking out beneath the bottom.

  Keeping low, he dodged down a hallway and rolled into the kitchen. A bullet hissed past his ear. But he had heard no gunshot. Obviously the intruder used a silencer—unusual for a street thug.

  Out of the corner of his eye, Jake glimpsed Cassidy blindfolded by a cap, tied to a kitchen chair. Her shoulders slumped. He had no way of knowing if she was still breathing, and his heart missed a beat.

  Think. Cassidy needed him to be professional.

  Estimating that the gunfire had come from the direction of the refrigerator, Jake scrambled to the position least likely to put Cassidy in the line of fire.

  In the distance, police sirens sounded. Two more bullets kept Jake behind the counter. He heard footsteps retreating. The back door squeaked open and then more footsteps pounded across the patio, indicating the intruder had run away.

  Normally Jake would have pursued the culprit. But no way could he leave Cassidy blindfolded and tied to that chair, wondering if she was going to live or die. Not even for another minute.

  Jake hurried to her and yanked the cap from her head. “Sunshine, talk to me. Are you all right?”

  Dazed blue eyes looked at him with fear. Blood trick
led from her mouth. “Jake?”

  She was alive! Pleasure shot through him, but as much as he yearned to gather her into his arms, touch that golden skin, inhale her feminine scent and reassure himself that she was all right, he hesitated. He had no desire to renew the old feelings, sensations and emotions that touching her had once caused.

  “Someone hit me.”

  “He won’t anymore. Not ever again. I’m here now, Sunshine.”

  He ached to pull her into his arms and hold her tenderly, but he shoved aside his needs, his urge to comfort her by touch and satisfy himself she was unharmed. Instead, he knelt and untied her hands and used his voice to give reassurance. “You’re safe. Whoever hit you went out the back door. I assume there was just one?”

  Cassidy rubbed her wrists slowly but didn’t attempt to rise from the chair, reminding him of a wild bird caged too long and afraid to fly free. Banishing his own fears at what touching her might do to his turbulent emotions, Jake reached for her, but she twisted away, terror darkening her eyes and arrowing straight to his core.

  Jake ignored her automatic rejection and how much his insides churned. She needed time to recover, time to collect herself. While she watched him with suspicion, he gave up trying to touch her again.

  Jake took his phone off the belt clip. “Harrison, you still there?”

  “Yes, boss.”

  “Inform the cops that the suspect fled the area on foot. We’re okay in here.”

  Distrust still clouding her eyes, Cassidy looked from the gun in Jake’s hand to the phone in the other. Her voice came out like a croak. “What are you doing here?”

  “Explanations can wait. An ambulance is on the way. But let me see to that cut on your lip.” Jake took a clean dish towel, ran water over it, rinsed it out, then wrapped ice in it. He handed it to her. “Place this where it hurts.”

  “Everything hurts.” Eyes narrowed, Cassidy stared at his gun as if she feared he’d shoot her any second.

  Jake put on the safety, then handed her his weapon, butt first. “Smell my gun. It hasn’t been fired. Someone else attacked you, Sunshine. I would never hurt you.”

  She sniffed the gun, and just the fact that she couldn’t take his word squeezed Jake’s emotions all over again. But he felt better when some of the fear left her eyes. He also realized how innocent she was. If he had been the intruder, he could have had two weapons.

  Cassidy didn’t seem to have the strength to hold the ice to her swollen lip. Slowly he knelt beside her. “Here, let me do that.”

  This time she allowed him to touch her. Jake gently eased the ice pack from her lip to her cheeks where bruises were already darkening beneath her golden skin. What kind of bastard struck a helpless woman across the face?

  His expression must have shown his anger, because Cassidy, eyes bleak, jerked away from him.

  “You’re going to be okay,” he murmured. “We’re going to install an alarm system in your house so this can never happen again. And one at your office, too.”

  “He was going to kill me,” Cassidy muttered.

  Jake wanted to question her, but recognized her dilated pupils as a sign of shock. He suspected that she barely knew what she was saying. So he just let her talk.

  “He kept asking me who I worked for.” Cassidy started to shake. “I’m so cold.”

  Jake swept her up into his arms and carried her into the den, her scent enveloping him, just as he’d feared, in old hungers, old needs. Ruthlessly he tried to ignore the softness of her breasts crushed against his chest, the silk of her hair against his neck.

  Cassidy needed him, and he could no more ignore her pain than he could ignore a crying baby back in the orphanage. He sat on the sofa and wrapped an afghan around her. Cradling her head on his chest, he tried to warm her with his body heat, and the entire time he wondered how many sleepless nights this would cost him. Still, he’d gladly pay the price of turning and tossing for a year, if that was what it took to give her back her sense of safety.

  “No more.” She shivered, and when he kept the ice pressed to her face, she pushed it away.

  “Ice will keep the swelling down. You don’t want to mar that perfect complexion. Just bear the cold a little longer. You’re strong. You can do that, Sunshine. Just a little longer, okay?”

  He spoke soothingly, but she never relaxed, and her trembling frightened him. Maybe he shouldn’t have moved her. She might be injured more badly than he’d thought.

  Where the hell was that ambulance?

  THE COPS SHOWED UP entirely too soon for Cassidy. She would have been content just to stay on Jake’s lap, rest her head against his chest and let the security of his strong arms banish the horror of her ordeal.

  Never before had she suffered pain that intense. Never before had she suffered such fear. Never before had she faced her mortality on such intimate terms.

  She’d thought she was going to die, not in some indeterminable time in the future, but today. Although she’d never resigned herself to dying, she’d had no hope. She hadn’t thought just of the past, of opportunities lost and old regrets, but of all the things she’d never experience. She’d hoped to fall in love. Have children. Grandchildren. And her future could have been taken from her, and she had no idea why.

  Then, somehow, Jake had rescued her, and now she wanted to enjoy each priceless moment. Each breath seemed a gift, each caress of his fingers through her hair precious. And the future was once again filled with wondrous possibilities.

  “Thank you for saving my life.”

  “I was happy to do it, Sunshine. I just wish I’d caught the bastard.”

  Thanking Jake wasn’t enough. He’d given her the invaluable gift of time, and she wanted him to understand. She could hear the police coming down her street, but she wanted Jake to know how she felt before they arrived.

  “Have you ever been sick?”

  “Not often,” Jake admitted, “but a few times.”

  Pleased that he didn’t seem disturbed by her strange choice of topic, she continued, “Remember all the things you missed? How food didn’t taste good? How you didn’t feel up to a walk on the beach or making a momentous decision?” She tilted her head back and gazed into his warm amber eyes. “Remember how good it felt to get well again? To move with energy and determination, to laugh?”

  As if he couldn’t forget what had almost happened to her, Jake looked down at her without smiling. “The newness and wonder of feeling healthy again never lasts. We soon forget and go on as before.”

  “Exactly.”

  Jake had always been quick to catch on to the threads of her thoughts and weave them together into meaningful ideas.

  “I don’t ever want to forget how precious life is,” she said. “I don’t want to waste another minute.”

  Jake cocked an arrogant eyebrow and his sexy mouth curved upward in amusement. “You always did live for today, Sunshine.”

  “There have been lost opportunities.”

  “Is that so?” he murmured, his voice purring like a cat in her ear.

  “Things I did and things I didn’t.”

  “Like what?”

  “I’ve always wanted to travel and I never had the time.”

  “Where do you want to go?”

  “Tahiti, Europe, the Far East.”

  “What else?”

  “I want children. I want to leave this world knowing I changed it somehow.”

  “You still have time for kids.”

  “Thanks to you.” But she’d never found the right time and the right man to have those kids with. She hesitated to say more, but then decided to tell him the rest. She wasn’t sure why she wanted to tell him, but after almost dying, the world seemed bright and clean, and she wanted to start over with a fresh slate. And maybe, just maybe, she was testing him, to see his reaction.

  “And I regret that we didn’t keep in touch. I’ve missed you.” She said the words in an impulsive burst of emotion before she could change her mind. As Jake’s ten
der expression turned to stone, his eyes shadowed with thoughts she couldn’t read, she shrugged away the hurt she felt when he didn’t say, I missed you, too.

  Knowing Jake had trouble voicing sentimental feelings, she made peace with his silence, placed her cheek against his chest, took comfort in the strong beat of his heart. But she couldn’t regret her boldness. She felt a rapport with Jake that hadn’t diminished over time. Telling Jake her thoughts and feelings had always been easy. That she’d returned to Florida without bothering to renew their friendship had been a mistake. A mistake she intended to rectify if Jake would let her. She was no longer an innocent eighteen-year-old who needed to follow her childhood dream, but a grown woman who’d achieved her goals and could now make her own choices.

  Yet, with her outspoken revelation, the closeness between them ended. The air of intimacy vanished.

  Jake had withdrawn from her. He might still be holding her on his lap, but his fingers no longer combed through her hair. He no longer curled his arms protectively around her. A stillness surrounded him, practically encasing him in ice.

  But it was the emotional distance that had grown as vast as the Gulf of Mexico. Jake had a way of closing off the world, closing off his emotions, from others, from her, maybe even from himself.

  “This is Officer Silvero. Everyone okay in there?” a man called out.

  Jake’s gestures were gentle, yet more efficient than tender, as he lifted her off his lap and placed her beside him on the sofa. Then, back straight, shoulders squared, he stood to greet the cop. “We’re in the den and all right.”

  By the time the police officer entered the room, Jake had his detective identification out of his pocket. Cassidy watched him shake hands with a young earnest-looking officer who couldn’t be much older than twenty, and she heard Jake murmur, “Go easy on her.” Then Jake leaned forward and whispered something she couldn’t hear in the cop’s ear.

  “I may be in shock, but I can answer your questions, Officer,” Cassidy said. She knew Jake was probably trying to protect her, but she preferred knowing the facts, no matter how bad a picture those facts painted. She’d never believed in hiding from the truth or letting others take on her problems, and was slightly annoyed with Jake for attempting to do so, even if she did understand his motives.